Sometimes I find it hard to believe that someone genuinely cares about me. I've had so many crazy friendships and other relationships that have never really been true. I started to build up a wall inside myself blocking some people out, but mostly blocking myself in. I got to the point where I didn't want to show that I ever needed anything from anyone. That way I wouldn't get hurt again. But that's stupid because that way I hurt all the time. I just kind of got use to it though.
So when someone calls me just to say "hi" and "I love you" its a shock and a blessing of a lifetime. Or when they truly do enjoy spending time with me and just being around me just because they like ME it truly breaks me. And breaking for me is VERY good. I'm a pretty big stone wall alot of times and I don't even know how to get in. But the right person or people and that puppy just comes tumbling down.
You know...I think more people care about me than I thaught... I just always have this little evil voice telling me that they don't. And I find it hard to believe people. But when they go out of their way to show me that they really do care,then it takes away that scarey doubt that's always going through my head.
Thank you all so much....and I know I've talked about this topic in many different forms before, but its getting better and better. My heart is alive and my spirit is free and Jesus knew and knows just when and what I need.
~Love~
Comments (3)
Awww! Good stuff. I feel ya. Hope all is well, Miss Ann. :)
:)
I feel/have felt very similar. I wish I had more opportunity to know you, you are an amazing woman and I appreciate you very much.
You were on my thoughts and on my lips this weekend. I saw so many old friends and made new.. developed relationships , nutured them.. It was very cool.. so divine and orchaestrated (?) from God.. My LVC and I are like one.. in prayer heart and thought for this .Very cool.. Be blessed and know there ar many who love you.. For, I feel the same at times in my home, but when taken out I see that there are many who truely love me and I can feel it. Know your heart is secure in the One who gives life and meaning.. =)Love ya..