Tuesday, 17 February 2009

•   eh, so it's been about 359 years since I've posted on here. Which is weird because I used to post just about everyday and was a HUGE xanga fan.

  Then they had to go and change the layout and corrupt what I loved so dear. lol! Yeah I'm not a fan of the new xanga, but here I am in need to get some things written down because I have a lot on my mind. I don't think anyone reads this anymore. So it doesn't really matter. I just need to write in order to process life. So....

    I am trying to enlist in the Air Force. I say trying because I need to get past the medical exam and with the surgery that I had on my arm back in the day that might be tricky. Some of you may be freaked out by me wanting to do this, but truly I've wanted to do this for YEARS. But I knew I was called to be at Teen Mania after high school so that is where I went.

    Then I wanted to do it after Teen Mania, but I really wanted to be with my family. And I am truly happy with my decision to stay here for the past 3 years and I do believe it was from GOD, because I have developed a beautiful relationship with my family and I've met new people that I don't know if I could live without now that we've met. :o) Love you guys!

    Now I can't seem to get away from it and nor do I really want to anymore. All of this I say in "Lord willing", because I don't know if I will get in. But I refused to fail in life and I want to be apart of something bigger than myself, I want to be apart of protecting our country and I want a great education and job that will help me support missionaries and those I love. I want to acheive the dreams that GOD has given me and I REFUSE to fail. I know that GOD has prepared me for extreme things whether this be it or something else. I have been praying for a lot of years now and do believe that I am supposed to pursue this. I should find out either this week or next if I will pass the physical. Please pray with me about this.

    With this desire also comes the sorrow of possibly leaving again. I have always wanted to leave home and see the world and do so much in life since I can remember, but I have never loved home as much as I do right now. I LOVE what I have here in my life right now. I LOVE the people I have in my life and I want to be a part of their lives and I want them to be a part of mine as well. I certainly wish I could take them all with me if I am part of the air force. Just the thought of it puts my stomache in knots, but I know that I can't live my life based on others and I must make my own life and pursue my dreams and callings. I must put GOD first and know that HE will strengthen the relationships HE intends for me to keep, no matter what. 

  Paul went on with his ministries from country to country, but he never forgot the ones he loved back home and was diligent in keeping in touch and remaining a supporting body of Christ and I believe that I can do the same no matter where I am and modern technology such as xanga, facebook and myspace are great tools to keep that a possibility. :o) I love JESUS and I am so thank for that HE has blessed me with YOU!!!

   

  Ok, I will try to end this since its not likely anyone will read it anyhow. It's good to have it written down though. :o)

  One last thing that is pretty random. I have been thinking about names for IF I ever have kids someday. I have picked up names through out life that have held great meaning to me. People in my life that have made a huge impact in my life in one way or another and are people that I would be blessed if my kids were like. So their names have become like gold to me. I hold these names with great value and would love to name my kids these name someday....

  Girl Names

  Jamie

  Joni

  Jenna

  Kelli

  Boy Name

  Jase

   

  That is it for now. God bless!

   

  • 10:23 AM
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