AgapeVessel4Christ's Xanga

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 14:23:48 GMT

eh, so it's been about 359 years since I've posted on here. Which is weird because I used to post just about everyday and was a HUGE xanga fan.

Then they had to go and change the layout and corrupt what I loved so dear. lol! Yeah I'm not a fan of the new xanga, but here I am in need to get some things written down because I have a lot on my mind. I don't think anyone reads this anymore. So it doesn't really matter. I just need to write in order to process life. So....

I am trying to enlist in the Air Force. I say trying because I need to get past the medical exam and with the surgery that I had on my arm back in the day that might be tricky. Some of you may be freaked out by me wanting to do this, but truly I've wanted to do this for YEARS. But I knew I was called to be at Teen Mania after high school so that is where I went.

Then I wanted to do it after Teen Mania, but I really wanted to be with my family. And I am truly happy with my decision to stay here for the past 3 years and I do believe it was from GOD, because I have developed a beautiful relationship with my family and I've met new people that I don't know if I could live without now that we've met. :o) Love you guys!

Now I can't seem to get away from it and nor do I really want to anymore. All of this I say in "Lord willing", because I don't know if I will get in. But I refused to fail in life and I want to be apart of something bigger than myself, I want to be apart of protecting our country and I want a great education and job that will help me support missionaries and those I love. I want to acheive the dreams that GOD has given me and I REFUSE to fail. I know that GOD has prepared me for extreme things whether this be it or something else. I have been praying for a lot of years now and do believe that I am supposed to pursue this. I should find out either this week or next if I will pass the physical. Please pray with me about this.

With this desire also comes the sorrow of possibly leaving again. I have always wanted to leave home and see the world and do so much in life since I can remember, but I have never loved home as much as I do right now. I LOVE what I have here in my life right now. I LOVE the people I have in my life and I want to be a part of their lives and I want them to be a part of mine as well. I certainly wish I could take them all with me if I am part of the air force. Just the thought of it puts my stomache in knots, but I know that I can't live my life based on others and I must make my own life and pursue my dreams and callings. I must put GOD first and know that HE will strengthen the relationships HE intends for me to keep, no matter what.

Paul went on with his ministries from country to country, but he never forgot the ones he loved back home and was diligent in keeping in touch and remaining a supporting body of Christ and I believe that I can do the same no matter where I am and modern technology such as xanga, facebook and myspace are great tools to keep that a possibility. :o) I love JESUS and I am so thank for that HE has blessed me with YOU!!!

Ok, I will try to end this since its not likely anyone will read it anyhow. It's good to have it written down though. :o)

One last thing that is pretty random. I have been thinking about names for IF I ever have kids someday. I have picked up names through out life that have held great meaning to me. People in my life that have made a huge impact in my life in one way or another and are people that I would be blessed if my kids were like. So their names have become like gold to me. I hold these names with great value and would love to name my kids these name someday....

Girl Names

Jamie

Joni

Jenna

Kelli

Boy Name

Jase

That is it for now. God bless!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:27:47 GMT

Man! I haven't been on here in forever. How bout some pictures for ya'll...

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 02:20:58 GMT

GOD you give and you take away, but you will ALWAYS love and remain faithful for all of eternity.

You CAPTIVATE me.

___________

Don't forget what you have....it won't always be there.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 00:30:15 GMT

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that someone genuinely cares about me. I've had so many crazy friendships and other relationships that have never really been true. I started to build up a wall inside myself blocking some people out, but mostly blocking myself in. I got to the point where I didn't want to show that I ever needed anything from anyone. That way I wouldn't get hurt again. But that's stupid because that way I hurt all the time. I just kind of got use to it though.

So when someone calls me just to say "hi" and "I love you" its a shock and a blessing of a lifetime. Or when they truly do enjoy spending time with me and just being around me just because they like ME it truly breaks me. And breaking for me is VERY good. I'm a pretty big stone wall alot of times and I don't even know how to get in. But the right person or people and that puppy just comes tumbling down.

You know...I think more people care about me than I thaught... I just always have this little evil voice telling me that they don't. And I find it hard to believe people. But when they go out of their way to show me that they really do care,then it takes away that scarey doubt that's always going through my head.

Thank you all so much....and I know I've talked about this topic in many different forms before, but its getting better and better. My heart is alive and my spirit is free and Jesus knew and knows just when and what I need.

~Love~

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 00:44:26 GMT

Make Some Noise

By Miley Cyrus

It's easy to feel like
You're all alone
To feel like nobody knows
The great that you are
The good that's inside you
Is trying so hard to break through

Maybe it's your time to lift off and fly
You won't know if you never try
I will be there with you all of the way
You'll be fine

[Chorus]
Don't let anyone
Tell you that you're not strong enough
Don't give up
There's nothing wrong with just being yourself
That's more than enough
So come on and raise your voice
speak your mind and make some noise
And sing
Hey, hey
Make some noise
Hey, hey, yeah

You want to be known
You want to be heard
And know you are beautiful
You have so much to give
Some change you wanna live
So shout it out and let it show

You have a diamond inside of your heart
A light that shines bright as the stars
Don't be afraid to be all that you are
You'll be fine

[Chorus]
Don't let anyone
Tell you that you're not strong enough
Don't give up
There's nothing wrong with just being yourself
That's more than enough
So come on and raise your voice
speak your mind and make some noise
[Make Some Noise lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

And sing
Hey, hey
Make some noise
Hey, hey, yeah

[Bridge]
You can't just sit back and watch the world change
It matters is what you've got to say
There's no one else who can stand in your place
So come on it's never too late

Maybe it's your time to lift off and fly
You won't know if you never try

[Chorus]
Don't let anyone
Tell you that you're not strong enough
Don't give up
There's nothing wrong with just being yourself
That's more than enough
So come on and raise your voice
speak your mind and make some noise
And sing
Hey, hey
Make some noise
Hey, hey, yeah
Hey, hey
(Make some noise)
speak your mind and make some noise
And sing hey, yeah
Hey, yeah
Hey, yeah
Make some noise
Hey, yeah
Hey, yeah
Hey, yeah
Make some noise

I was just surfing the web for some info and came across this song and it started playing and the lyrics hit me like lightening. It was just what I needed to hear right now. I've heard the song a million times and even have the CD, but I never REALLY listened to the lyrics. God knows what I need. Yeah, tease me if you want...i know it's a Miley song. Who would have thought a 15 year old's song would strike a cord in my heart. God is using her despite the ridiculous Media junk they keep trying to dish out on her. Well, thanks for reading and I hope this song encourages you too.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:44:37 GMT

I can't just eat, sleep and work everyday. It's annoying to see days go by when something great hasn't happened. I'm hungry...and I'm waiting for God to let me know what to feed on. HIS word is quenching, but I also need HIS direction or its just me.

HUNGRY!!!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 01:24:19 GMT

So I start my first acting class tomorrow night and guess what... I have a soar throat and can't talk very well. Hm...I have been drinking tea all night and sucking down cough drops. I'm praying my voice/throat is back to normal tomorrow.

I'm actually taking two different acting classes this semester. One through my college (i needed the credits) and one through a theater. I had been planning to take the class at the theater for a while. It's someting I've always wanted to do, but never had the chance until now. I'm not planning to go professional or anything, but it would be fun to do plays. Plus I think it will help my confidence and help me learn a lot about myself. I liking pushing my boundries. I'm a bit nervous but excited at the same time.

This semester should be interesting. I only have one normal class on Tuesday nights. My other two classes are online. I haven't taken online classes before, but I was getting so annoid by my teachers the last few semesters because they never teach anything. I am better off teaching myself.

Well, onto new adventures. I am excited and inspired. I am ready to exand my horizons and explore new possibilities. I am ready to meet beautiful people and have late night conversations. Jesus, let me live your love.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 13:59:17 GMT

Jesus is amazing!!!!

A little update for those of you who don't know what I'm doing now. Well, I am going to school in GR, MI and working at Arby's to help pay the bills. But the best part of what I'm doing these days is helping out with the youth group at my church. I have never seen such a beautiful group of teens.

You know how usually when you ask your youth group to pray there's not a sound and the leaders always have to pray? Not with this youth group...they're all over the praying. At first I thought maybe just a few people were doing it all the time, but I looked around the group and different people jump in and just pray it up. And their prayers are so genuine. I am blown away by this group each time we get together. They all care about each other so much and are amazing at bringing new people to youth group.

I would love to hang out with them outside of youth group so I can get to know them better. I am hoping that maybe I can get a group of them to chill soon. : o)

I am also loving the youth leaders I am coming along side of. They are fun and amazing people. They love Jesus, they LOVE what they are doing and are VERY real. None of this acting perfect because you're the leader stuff, but they are very real with everyone. Awesome!

Other news:

I talked with a girl that I grew up with last night. And she is completely sold out for Christ now. I had been praying for her for YEARS to follow Christ. Then I lost contact with her and found her again on Myspace and have been catching up with her and its amazing what God has done in her. And I got to open up to her about a lot of things that I had been wanting to tell her for a long time and it was great!

Thank you JESUS for loving us!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:23:01 GMT

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 21:53:39 GMT

Just letting ya'll know I'm still alive. Hope ya'll are doing alright.