eh, so it's been about 359 years since I've posted on here. Which is weird because I used to post just about everyday and was a HUGE xanga fan.

Then they had to go and change the layout and corrupt what I loved so dear. lol! Yeah I'm not a fan of the new xanga, but here I am in need to get some things written down because I have a lot on my mind. I don't think anyone reads this anymore. So it doesn't really matter. I just need to write in order to process life. So....

  I am trying to enlist in the Air Force. I say trying because I need to get past the medical exam and with the surgery that I had on my arm back in the day that might be tricky. Some of you may be freaked out by me wanting to do this, but truly I've wanted to do this for YEARS. But I knew I was called to be at Teen Mania after high school so that is where I went.

  Then I wanted to do it after Teen Mania, but I really wanted to be with my family. And I am truly happy with my decision to stay here for the past 3 years and I do believe it was from GOD, because I have developed a beautiful relationship with my family and I've met new people that I don't know if I could live without now that we've met. :o) Love you guys!

  Now I can't seem to get away from it and nor do I really want to anymore. All of this I say in "Lord willing", because I don't know if I will get in. But I refused to fail in life and I want to be apart of something bigger than myself, I want to be apart of protecting our country and I want a great education and job that will help me support missionaries and those I love. I want to acheive the dreams that GOD has given me and I REFUSE to fail. I know that GOD has prepared me for extreme things whether this be it or something else. I have been praying for a lot of years now and do believe that I am supposed to pursue this. I should find out either this week or next if I will pass the physical. Please pray with me about this.

  With this desire also comes the sorrow of possibly leaving again. I have always wanted to leave home and see the world and do so much in life since I can remember, but I have never loved home as much as I do right now. I LOVE what I have here in my life right now. I LOVE the people I have in my life and I want to be a part of their lives and I want them to be a part of mine as well. I certainly wish I could take them all with me if I am part of the air force. Just the thought of it puts my stomache in knots, but I know that I can't live my life based on others and I must make my own life and pursue my dreams and callings. I must put GOD first and know that HE will strengthen the relationships HE intends for me to keep, no matter what. 

Paul went on with his ministries from country to country, but he never forgot the ones he loved back home and was diligent in keeping in touch and remaining a supporting body of Christ and I believe that I can do the same no matter where I am and modern technology such as xanga, facebook and myspace are great tools to keep that a possibility. :o) I love JESUS and I am so thank for that HE has blessed me with YOU!!!

Ok, I will try to end this since its not likely anyone will read it anyhow. It's good to have it written down though. :o)

One last thing that is pretty random. I have been thinking about names for IF I ever have kids someday. I have picked up names through out life that have held great meaning to me. People in my life that have made a huge impact in my life in one way or another and are people that I would be blessed if my kids were like. So their names have become like gold to me. I hold these names with great value and would love to name my kids these name someday....

Girl Names

Jamie

Joni

Jenna

Kelli

Boy Name

Jase

That is it for now. God bless!

GOD you give and you take away, but you will ALWAYS love and remain faithful for all of eternity.

You CAPTIVATE me.

___________

Don't forget what you have....it won't always be there.

Make Some Noise

By Miley Cyrus

It's easy to feel like
You're all alone
To feel like nobody knows
The great that you are
The good that's inside you
Is trying so hard to break through

Maybe it's your time to lift off and fly
You won't know if you never try
I will be there with you all of the way
You'll be fine

[Chorus]
Don't let anyone
Tell you that you're not strong enough
Don't give up
There's nothing wrong with just being yourself
That's more than enough
So come on and raise your voice
speak your mind and make some noise
And sing
Hey, hey
Make some noise
Hey, hey, yeah

You want to be known
You want to be heard
And know you are beautiful
You have so much to give
Some change you wanna live
So shout it out and let it show

You have a diamond inside of your heart
A light that shines bright as the stars
Don't be afraid to be all that you are
You'll be fine

[Chorus]
Don't let anyone
Tell you that you're not strong enough
Don't give up
There's nothing wrong with just being yourself
That's more than enough
So come on and raise your voice
speak your mind and make some noise
[Make Some Noise lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

And sing
Hey, hey
Make some noise
Hey, hey, yeah

[Bridge]
You can't just sit back and watch the world change
It matters is what you've got to say
There's no one else who can stand in your place
So come on it's never too late

Maybe it's your time to lift off and fly
You won't know if you never try

[Chorus]
Don't let anyone
Tell you that you're not strong enough
Don't give up
There's nothing wrong with just being yourself
That's more than enough
So come on and raise your voice
speak your mind and make some noise
And sing
Hey, hey
Make some noise
Hey, hey, yeah
Hey, hey
(Make some noise)
speak your mind and make some noise
And sing hey, yeah
Hey, yeah
Hey, yeah
Make some noise
Hey, yeah
Hey, yeah
Hey, yeah
Make some noise

I was just surfing the web for some info and came across this song and it started playing and the lyrics hit me like lightening. It was just what I needed to hear right now. I've heard the song a million times and even have the CD, but I never REALLY listened to the lyrics. God knows what I need. Yeah, tease me if you want...i know it's a Miley song. Who would have thought a 15 year old's song would strike a cord in my heart. God is using her despite the ridiculous Media junk they keep trying to dish out on her. Well, thanks for reading and I hope this song encourages you too.